In Trumps America Black men, women and our children, as well as other people of color are the consistent targets of overt and covert harassment. Just this week I read a story about a Black man strolling his son in the park only to have park security roll up on him to let him know that someone reported a suspicious looking man pushing a baby carriage. This man, in a pair of khakis pushing his OWN child in the park looked suspicious to someone…seriously, how?
They tell black men to assimilate and well, you just can’t get any more assimilated than a brother in khakis in a button up shirt pushing a $300-dollar stroller. So, it’s not the clothes or the language it is the blackness that kicks up the racist Spidey senses that drives these folks to call the police on Black people just living. It has become mentally exhausting and gets more and more frustrating every day. We talk a great deal about how we as women should practice self-care but what about black men?
- Therapy. A bad word in our culture for a long time but it is 2018 and shit is crazy in these streets. Talking it out with your boys or your woman is great but a professional can offer more insight and a judgement free zone where you can express all of your innermost emotions, like the ones you didn’t even know you had, analyze them, and find constructive ways to deal with them.
- Give Up The Toxic Male Masculinity. Do some corny shit that is not really corny at all but some of us have been conditioned to think so. Go to a wine and paint event. Try horseback riding. Go on a winery tour. Keep a journal for a year…release negative feelings via your pen and chart your growth.
- Travel. Go explore the world. America is not the end of the world just a pit stop. Enjoy the process of planning.
- Pamper Yourself. Nothing at all wrong in taking care of your skin, being particular about your hair or planning out your clothes. I know a lot of you do anyway but for those who don’t take that extra step. Mannnnn, listen get a facial.
5. Upgrade. If you have friends that are constantly negative, constant downers, and have just given up, you may need to upgrade. If they are not seeking to get out of that pool you can’t sit in there and drown with them.. Surround yourself with folks that are not losing, are not giving up but fighting. Join community groups. Network within your career seeking out other brothers (and sisters) for support and build those connections.
6. You are Kings. Daily affirmations are a necessary. Nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with positive quotes that assert your inner power . Trust me folks are not scared of your brawn or ‘thugness’ they are scared of the king that lives within you- that smart, educated, fine ass man with the swag…it is intimidating and why they try to tear you down with words…they know who you are so affirm it to yourself.
7. Read. The more you know about you and your ancestors the more you will recognize your strength. “Without education you are not going anywhere in this world.’ Malcolm X
Read to educate but also read to get lost in story.
America is getting more and more insane by the day and the stress of just being black is a stress we all are carrying. Take care of yourself. Pull back when you need to. Organize and speak up because we are listening.
Black men what are you doing to remain sane in this world that is fearful of your existence?